Are You Not Entertained?! The Consequences of Standardized Test Prep

Are you not satisfied with the educational system?!

In the film, Gladiator, the character played by Russell Crowe, Maximus, is a Roman Soldier who is enslaved and made to be a gladiator. He is already a killing machine, a hardened soldier, and, angry at being forced to kill for sport, he proceeds to dispatch his opponents quickly, easily, and shouts at the crowd, "Are you not entertained?!" He knows they are not. This is not what they had in mind.

So, I feel like shouting something similar right now. I just sat through an hour long "workshop" to help me prepare my students for the California High School Exit Exam, otherwise known as the CAHSEE. This test is supposed to see if the kids have learned the minimum amount necessary to earn a high school diploma. If kids don't pass the test, no matter what grades they earn, they don't get a diploma. So, there are high stakes for the kids.

The adults have a stake in this, too. The pass rate is used by people, district officials, to judge the schools, primarily the administrators. And, the scores are published in newspapers, used by politicians, and part of how schools get funding. People use these scores to decide if the schools are doing a good job. And, more and more, districts are using them to evaluate teachers. The assumption is that if students are passing the test, they must be learning what we want them to learn. The further assumption with this test, and other standardized tests, is that the tests are a valid measure of student learning. In other words, the things that the students learn in school are being tested by the CAHSEE and these are the things we want them to learn.

Educators have been warning that an over reliance on standardized tests will lead to teachers teaching to the test and a narrowing of the curriculum. For years now, the prediction has been that if you put pressure on teachers to raise test scores, that will become the point of the school year, and that teachers will do what they need to do in order to ensure student, and, therefore, teacher success.

The warnings have come true. It has come to pass. The teachers are teaching to the test and the curriculum has been narrowed. Here is the absolute, undeniable truth. I am going to relate to you what happened in this workshop as proof that the canary has died, the warnings have come true, it is no longer a possibility, it is a reality.

The workshop began with us watching a clip of Nick Saban explaining that the reason he works so hard is because he likes to win, to be the best. So, that's the tone of the presentation. We are supposed to want to win. This is reinforced when the presenter* says he is competitive and always plays to win, and that when he was a classroom teacher, he used the student scores on the standardized tests, like the CAHSEE, to see if he was winning at work.

Does that sound like education to you? Is education a game to win? Do you want teachers worrying about winning? You might think you do. Let's look at what that means, in practice.

The presenter brought out charts to represent data that showed how students scored on the CAHSEE. We found that about 24% missed passing the test by 5 points or less. We saw that about 80% of the students in the district are passing the test and about the same or slightly more are passing at our school. That sounds pretty good, to me. An 80% pass rate sounds decent. Not great, certainly, but not reason to panic, either.

So, the presenter put up a chart that showed the breakdown of the types of questions that the test has. They were split up by standards. California uses standards as the teaching objectives, the skills that students are supposed to learn. So, for example, he told us that 25% of the test is Reading Comprehension. So, we should focus on activities that teach students Reading Comprehension. Why? Because that standard had the most "bang for the buck". His reasoning, as a certified math teacher, was that if students were learning reading comprehension, then they were learning Word Analysis and Response to Literature at the same time. Maybe, but maybe not. Word Analysis is more like a vocabulary exercise where you use knowledge of Greek and Latin roots, prefixes and suffixes, and so on, to figure out what words mean. But, Reading Comprehension is more about figuring out plot or tone or something like that. (Most of this is not very high on the cognitive scale, by the way. It is low, to mid-level thinking, mostly identifying things, recognizing them.)

And, honestly, respectfully, he was talking about teaching English about as well as I would talk about teaching math. That is to say, he was pretty much wrong.

So, my problem is, first, that we are making a lot of assumptions. Most of my fellow English teachers were muttering that focusing on Writing Applications, which comprises 20% of the score, is a better idea. What does that mean? That we would focus on teaching kids to write essays. Why? Well, when you're writing, you're reading. You are literally reading what you have written. When you write, you usually have to read something, like literature, and you need to comprehend it, to analyze it. Realistically, you are probably addressing five, or more, standards in that kind of activity.

It's much more of a bang for your buck activity. Read and write about what you read.

That was mentioned. His response was enthusiastic. Yes! Great! Have them write! And, he said, there are things you can do if the kids don't write well. He said you should make sure they indent paragraphs. You should have them write five paragraphs. You should have them make sure they have topic sentences for all of their paragraphs. This will, he said, help "masquerade their writing" [sic] so it looks as if they know how to write.

He actually said that. It will help mask the fact that they can't write well.

Are you not entertained?!

Basically, this district official was telling us ways to game the system, the best ways to increase test scores. We did not talk about student learning. We didn't talk about what was best for kids. See, that's a given in these areas. This is best for kids. We should use test scores to drive instruction. We should make curricular choices based on what standards will help students pass the test with the highest score. We should win!

Let that sink in. We, as teachers, are choosing the lessons based on what will increase student test scores. We are not asking if this will help kids prepare for college. We are not asking if this is what students need to be ready for life after high school. We are not asking if this will help them get a job and support themselves.

Not only are we teaching based on what standards will be on the test and which ones will raise test scores the easiest, but we are focusing on that. We are narrowing the curriculum so that we can make sure the kids are successful with that. Because, as we were told, success breeds more success. The presenter then recommended that we get the released test questions and spend 3 to 5 days on going over those questions. We should teach them to do better on those questions, help them practice to take the test.

Are you not satisfied with the educational system? Isn't this what you wanted? It must be. We all heard the warnings. Teachers have been saying this for years. We have been telling anyone who would listen, and most didn't, that this would happen. How could it not? How could you put so much pressure on teachers to raise scores and not expect them to focus on those things that would do the easiest and most effectively?

This is the state of the educational system today. This is what No Child Left Behind has given us. Why? Because the pass rate of Sophomores on the CAHSEE counts for 100% of the Annual Yearly Progress (AYP) score that is a huge part of NCLB and determines things like if a school is considered failing or not. Of course you, as a principal, are going to focus on this. You're not stupid. Your job is riding on this! They publish these scores in the papers. And, increasingly, districts are trying to use these scores to see if teachers are good or not.

So, am I going to do it? Why wouldn't I? I want people to think I'm a good teacher! This is my job! This is how I pay my bills! It's how I support my family! Yes, I am going to want my kids to pass this test and get high scores. And, you must want me to, as well, because you will base my evaluation on this, you will publish my name in the paper with these scores, as they do in some places, like Los Angeles and New York.

I guess you are satisfied and entertained because I'm still a gladiator and the games don't look to be changing any time soon. The tests are not going away.

*I want to be clear that this is in no way critical of the presenter today. I am sure he was doing the best he could with the assignment he was given. In my opinion, we are all complicit in this problem. We, the teachers that go along with it, the administrators who push the agenda, the citizens who believe it.

My Latissimus Dorsi Hurts

I'm lying in bed right now in a mild amount of pain. You know how, in the hospital, they ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worse ever? My pain at this moment is about a 2 or 3. It's a dull ache in my back, right side. But, if I move the wrong way, that becomes a 9, easy. Yesterday, as I was about to leave for work in the morning, I did not realize that my lawn sprinklers, having been blown by the wind, had coated my driveway with a thin, imperceptable sheet of ice because of the unusually cold temperatures that morning. So, when I saw my trash can had blown down, I did what I normally do, I went out to pick it up, in a hurry, of course, because I don't want to be late to work, and I found myself on my back suddenly and harshly.

I felt fine at first. I got back up and actually rode my bike to work in the morning, after picking up the trash can and walking more carefully. Once at work, I felt a little discomfort in my back. Then, over the course of the day, the pain worsened. By 6th period, I had to teach from a chair. I asked my wife to pick me up instead of riding home in the screaming wind. Even in calm conditions, I think riding might have been a bad idea.

My wife took me to urgent care. The doctor their diagnosed me with a strain of my latissimus dorsi muscle which is ending up to be very painful. He prescribed rest, no lifting things, and NSAID along with some heat and ice. I called in sick because sleeping was hard but moving this morning was even more difficult. In fact, this morning, around 4 a.m., I thought I could try sleeping on my side. It seemed like a good idea. But, instead, it caused the most painful and excruciating muscle spasm I have had. Luckily, my wife had a muscle relaxer and she helped me get the heating pad under me while every slight movement send waves of nine-level pain through me.

I can't classify it as ten-level pain because I just don't know if I've had that yet. I think that is having-a-baby pain or gall-bladder-attack pain. But, this was still pretty bad.

I don't know but I have a feeling I may be out of commission for a few days. I can walk, carefully, but I don't know which movements will inspire a spasm. At this point, I have no idea if I can put on or take of a shirt. Lifting the toilet seat is scary and hurts a little. Even lying down, the muscle aches. It's a bummer. I have a lot to do at school with my students, I have a Site Rep Council meeting tomorrow, I have bike rides I want to be taking, there's work to do in my garage, and so on. I really hate being injured.

Besides that... oh, I finished my work bench. It came out pretty good. The first picture is the workspace in general. The second is a better picture of just the bench. I'm happy with it.

There's little things wrong with it, but mostly, it is great. Maybe the wood isn't the highest quality or something but some stuff didn't line up the way I thought it would. However, it's a good bench and looks nice while providing a great place to work on stuff. I really like the drawers even though that added a level of difficulty and I even had to make a new drawer because one of them didn't fit. The finish came out nice, too.

In the first picture, you can see a cabinet/shelf thing I made, too. It holds all kinds of cans and bottles of stuff like wood, cleaners, WD-40, oil, grease, and so on. The door folds down to make a little shelf. It's pretty nice and I hung in on the peg board using a French cleat. Also, I hung tools on the peg board. The peg board used to be behind several of those ClosetMaid wire shelves. I moved those to another wall and put the peg board to work holding up my tools. Much better. I really like having the tools on the wall. To me, it both looks cool but it means I am more organized and find the tools I want so much easier.

So, that was a successful project.

In this shot, you can see that I have attached boards to the wall for a French cleat organizing wall. I can make little cleats that hold hooks or other things to attach tools or whatever, to the wall. And, you can move the stuff around if you don't like its placement. It's an evolving project. And, on the right of the picture, at the top, you can see where I attached some rails to hold plastic totes for more storage.

I got all of these projects from the Family Handyman magazine website.

That's how I spent most of my winter break. Since then? I've gotten a few bike rides in. Riding a bike in the cold is not a lot fun, unless you have something to warm it up a bit. I do, so that is okay. But, the other morning, I left to join the cycling group I belong to for the regular Saturday ride, and it had to be in the 30's easy. The air hurt on bare skin wherever it touched. I used a "ninja mask" face cover and that helped quite a bit, actually. I was going to be riding my bike to work starting again this week, but then the back injury happened. So, it's hard to tell how long I will be off my bike. Back injuries are not to be trifled with.

At work, we are looking at poetry. I used to hate poetry, especially in high school, so I am very sympathetic when students groan at the mention of poetry, or don't understand this whole meter thing. I don't get it, sometimes, either. I can usually recognize iambic pentameter when I see it, but I don't know a trochee from a spondee or a dactyl from an anapest.

The Sophomores will read a little of this and a little of that. I'm a little disappointed that so many of the selections are modern and in free verse. The Juniors will look pretty closely at Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman. Those will be fun, I like those. Aside from teaching them to analyze poetry to find the theme, symbols, imagery, figurative language, and so on, I am hoping at least to help them gain an appreciation for the form and enjoy reading some poems.

Last year, I dove right into the poems and ended up finding that the kids didn't really understand the things we were talking about, like symbols and metaphors. So, I had to teach that stuff in the middle. This time, I have opted to front-load all of that information via PowerPoint presentation. It's not a lot of fun for the kids. But, I am able to break it up with some Think/Pair/Share activity and that helps.

Of course, I'm not doing much at all if I'm at home with a screwed up back. So, next time, I am going to remember that water freezes when it's real cold and try not to fall down in the future.

 

Building Some Stuff

About a year ago, I got a bit crazy and decided I would mount my TV on the family room wall, mount my surround sound speakers, and hide the wires in the walls. Without an attic over the family room, this was an ambitious project for me. I had as much experience with patching drywall and doing anything like this as I had of overhauling a V6 engine. That is to say, none. But, it came out okay. I can see where I made the patches, and I bet you could too, if you looked at it for a few seconds. But, after painting, it looks passable. Last summer I went into the kids' rooms and we painted. I put some PVC wire conduits on the walls for the boys to hide the cables for their little surround system. I mounted the TV on the wall, installed shelves, and generally was pleased with how that came out. Over Thanksgiving break we decided to redecorate the master bedroom. We moved the TV, mounted speakers, hid wires under the baseboards (which I removed and put back into place), and we painted the opposing walls in different colors. I installed blinds, too. It came out good, too.

So, now I think I'm this handyman DIYer. Right? I got a crazy idea to build a workbench in my garage. About ten years ago, when I got my first real garage of my own, I bought some Gorilla racks that have been serving as my workbench. They kind suck for that. I want something sturdy, with good space, and that you can bolt vice onto. I found a plan in this Family Handyman magazine. It looks easy enough. Some 2x4s and plywood. Make good cuts and it should be okay. I have a circular saw. I can do this.

To practice, I decided I would build some sawhorses that I could use when I built the bench. In addition, my amazing wife threw a project my way to build a Christmas card holder that looks like a Christmas tree. It was super simple, so I agreed.

I decided to have the step-son help out. He and I have a, uh, sometimes interesting relationship. The story is that we are awfully alike, personality-wise, and this makes it hard for us to get along. Probably. There's a few other things, as well. In my experience, relationships between step-parents and step-children are almost always tricky. No matter what you do, how hard you try, you never really see them the way you see your biological children. You love them, you care about them, you want the best for them, but there's still a gap. And, I know there's a gap inside them as well. They love you, they care for you, and they look up to you, but at the end of the day, you aren't their biological parent and they know it.

Another interesting thing for me here is that the garage was always my Dad's world. It was his domain. It was a mysterious place to me. There were tools and wires, powered machines and all sorts of implements of which I could never quite puzzle out the purpose. I knew screwdrivers, hammers, and wrenches, of course, but I was never very much mechanically inclined. I hated working on my car. Loathed it. To this day, any sort of work on a car always involves actual sweat, blood, and tears, on my part. I'm serious. I never finish any job on a car without crying and bleeding from some part of my body. But, owning a house has forced me and goaded me into picking up tools and finding something to work on. I simply decided at some point that it was time to know how to fix a sink or a toilet.

Since, I have replaced three faucets, a garbage disposal (twice), installed a ceiling fan, and all the aforementioned redecoration work. In the past I would have felt it necessary to get my Dad's help with this. But, I haven't needed it. I did it on my own.

Another thing that was always, in my mind, something only my Dad could do, was buy cars. I had this idea that he would walk into a dealership as a marauding Viking takes a beach, and the salespeople would cower and shrink before him. He would only leave once they had allowed him to take the car of his choice and they would tell tales of how they barely survived his ferocious negotiations. Allegedly, during an intense session of wheeling and dealing, the salesperson said to my Dad, anguished, "Listen, man, I have a family to feed!" Such was the ruthlessness of my Dad's negotiating skills. So, I didn't like to go buy cars on my own. It's scary!

They use numbers, you know.

Numbers, my old enemies. People think I exaggerate but it's completely true. Numbers are my Kryptonite. They mock me and I have no power to stop them. But, this weekend, it was time. We had looked for a while, my wife and I. Luckily, though she's no mathematician, herself, she is okay with numbers. And, we both know how to read and research stuff. We settled on a Honda Pilot. We went to Rock and, with the Internet at our back, we successfully negotiated the purchase of a Certified Used Honda Pilot. I even managed to convince them to sell it to me on my credit alone! Since the divorce wrecked my credit score, I have tried hard to be a good boy and pay on time. It seems to have worked, though it has taken many years to dig out of the whole my ex-wife dug for me.

But, I did it. I bought a car all by myself. I might have left a little money on the table, but I think I did alright. Not perfect but nothing so bad that it will be noticeable. This is kind of like the way I repair drywall.

I'm going to be honest here and say I hated working in the garage with my Dad. I always felt stupid and like I was disappointing him constantly. So, I was determined this time not to make the step-son feel that way. He's a Cub Scout so he has a woodworking badge to complete, as well. For that reason, I made a point to explain things as I did them. I tried to let him use the circular saw (he declined) and the drill (he accepted). I had him hold things whenever I needed it. And, for some reason, he loved it.

I haven't spoken with my Dad since March 2012. Why? Actually, I think it's pretty lame. First, I had noticed that he and my step-mother had my ex-wife as a Friend on their Facebook. Bear with me a second here. This ex-wife is the one who didn't tell me she was borrowing money from them, who also borrowed (this time with my knowledge) $10,000 from them with which we were supposed to pay our property taxes, but she spent on other things, forced me to take her to court and hire a lawyer during the divorce which cost us thousands of dollars (in California, if you use a lawyer to divorce, you are probably stupid because the law is so cut and dry about the division of property), and who refused to pay on any joint credit cards after we separated. She also overdrew bank accounts and declined to pay that money back. Oh, and she ran up a $700 celluar bill and didn't pay it. Guess who's name had once been on that account and who now has a that on his credit report? Yup. I asked her three times to contact AT&T to clear it up. She ignored me. This is also the same woman who told anyone who would listen, including people in my family, and her daughters, my step-daughters at the time, that I was having an affair (I wasn't).

Can you see why I might not feel any warmth for this woman? She purposely went out of her way to hurt me because I had the audacity to leave her after she told me she hated being married to me and was only staying with me because we had kids. Can you see why maybe I might not want to have any more to do with her than I needed to? Does it make sense why I might not like thinking my parents were on friendly terms with her? When I met her, she was using food stamps and welfare checks to get by. I gave her the first computer she ever owned, bought her a mini-van, and helped her get both of her college degrees, including a Master of Social Work degree from U.S.C.! No kidding, I spent $30,000 of savings on her college degrees. In return, she gave me 7-10 years of black marks on my credit ratings. I dragged her out of poverty and she tried to drag me into it.

So, I told my Dad I didn't like them being Friends with her. On top of that, I told him that I didn't like some of the things he had recently said or done. He had asked my wife if she was an anchor baby (a very offensive term for Hispanics which implies your parents used your birth to stay here). She was polite, but offended, and she was not an anchor baby. Both of her parents were legal immigrants. He had also forwarded to me, and others, a very racist email about President Obama that suggested, completely falsely, that Obama's books contained numerous passages revealing that he hated Christians and whites. I think it's quite clear why this is offensive. It tries to use race to get non-African Americans to distrust, or even hate, President Obama and it accuses him of being a racist. In my opinion, this is, itself, racist. So, I told him that I was offended. I didn't mind that my Dad didn't like Obama's policies, or that he wouldn't vote for him. I minded that he was using lies to convince others not to vote for him.

Turns out that's just a Republican thang. You wouldn't understand. They have to lie. It's in the party platform.

Anyway, I told him I didn't appreciate this kind of behavior and that if he wanted to spend time with me, or my family, he would need to amend his behavior. I decided it was time. I was tired of biting my tongue for fear of upsetting him. I was tired of feeling embarrassed at what he had said, or afraid of what he might say. My wife is of Hispanic decent, my step-children are both of Hispanic and African-American decent. I don't want them to be hurt because he can't control his mouth. Nor, for that matter, do I want my bio-kids learning that kind of behavior as they are living, half the time, in a multi-cultural household.

I told him that just as he had demanded his own father treat him and his family with respect, I was also taking such a stand. I wrote this all in an email to him because I hoped I would express myself best that way. I got no reply. I tried a couple more times to either call or email. I received a response finally that told me, essentially, that until I was perfect, to leave him alone. In other words, I was not allowed to find fault in him because I had not achieved perfection.

Silence, then. I heard nothing else. Months passed. He and my step-mother continued to see my kids, though. They contacted my ex-wife and visited that way.

The funniest thing? He dropped me from his Friends on Facebook. So did my step-mother and her daughters. So, apparently, costing their son thousands of dollars was forgivable, but I had crossed a line so firmly no one could speak to me any more at all. This is high irony, folks.

I called to tell them, in October, that I didn't wish them to spend time with my children, that if they couldn't speak to me then they had no business spending time with my kids. But, being that I only have fifty percent custody, I have no control over what happens when they are with my ex. I see it as highly disrespectful, all of it. You would think I had done something truly awful to them, instead of writing an email that appears to have hurt their feelings. After that phone call, my Dad sent me an email saying he was busy with the preparations for their annual Halloween party but he would contact me after in order to discuss things.

I have yet to hear from him since then. I am told he isn't working right now so they must have had quite a party if it has kept him busy all this time. Either that or I'm just not that important to him. I suspect the latter.

It's hurtful. But, I'm not surprised. Honestly, I'm not overly likable, in my opinion. So, I'm not surprised when people have had enough of me. It's a bit more extreme when it's your own father. But, then again, lots of people don't get along with their parents. The movies and TV shows are full of examples alone. Cat in the Cradle was a big hit decades ago. This isn't new. And, why do you have to "love" your family members, anyway? You didn't choose them. They didn't choose you. So, it's not insane to not want to talk to them, I suppose.

It's been a time of revelations, really. I'm seeing that I'm capable of doing things I once thought impossible. I'm seeing that I can do things well. I'm building things. And, sometimes when you build something, you have to tear something else down. Maybe that's all this is. I can buy my own tools, I don't need to borrow his. I can do it on my own. I can buy my own car, build my own workbench, and be a parent to a step-son (I just realized his own father rejects him as well. I guess we do have a lot in common.)

Most of all, I know that I want my bio-kids to know, to feel that I love them and that I will never reject them, that I will never leave them hanging, that I will always, to the best of my abilities, protect them and help them. I want to build good relationships with all of my children, step and bio. And, I have learned that patience and the right tools make a big difference. When I take my time and measure carefully, cut straight, I can make something decent. If I have the right tool, the job is much simpler. And, maybe that's my Dad's real problem. He neither has the patience or the right tools.

If I have learned one thing in 41 years, it's that everyone I know needs therapy. If you haven't been in therapy/counseling then you are dumb as the guy that refuses to ever go to the doctor. He'll insist that those doctors don't know anything, that they do as much harm as good. And, then, usually sooner than later, they get an infection that they swear is getting better, that they ignore, and take pain killers for, and then end up septic and dead. Everyone needs to figure out their issues, and we all have issues. Some of us just go to a professional to talk it over and stop repeating the mistakes of the past. And, others deny they have any problems and get surprised when they are miserable.

I'm not miserable, today. I'm pretty happy. Miserable people like making others miserable. Happy people want to make others happy. I don't always succeed, but at least I try to spread happiness most days. To me, that is the clearest way to see if you are mentally healthy. Did you make more people happy than sad today? Yes? You're good, then. But, if the answer is no, then you might want to get some help. You're miserable and you're making your own company.

I'm not perfect, but I am, at least, trying to do better today than I did yesterday. I'm not always achieving it, but that's still the goal. I guess I just wrote all of this because it has been on my mind. The holidays do that. Christmas always makes me think of my mom, for example. And, lately a lot of things have reminded me of my Dad. And, buying a car got me looking at my credit report which reminded me of the damage my ex-wife has done to me. So, that's that, I guess. Nothing to do but to move forward, to look at the day and see what I can bring to it. I've got a few weeks off now and some projects to keep me busy... building some stuff.

A Christmas Confession

I have a confession to make. What I am about to tell you is a bit shocking and maybe a little disgusting. It may just change the way you look at me. But, I think I can't go on unless I admit this to someone. That someone is you, dear reader.

I have a thing about Christmas music. It's almost a sickness. I love Christmas songs.

Now, you may already know this, but I am a music geek. My primary love is hard rock/heavy metal music. But, I do enjoy listening to other genres such as classic rock, alternative rock, electronic, hip hop, jazz, classical, and pop/dance. Mind you, I do not listen to those other genres a lot. But, I will throw on some Kanye West, Nine Inch Nails, Mumford and Sons, Coldplay, or Miles Davis from time to time. Mostly, though, I like rock. Hard rock and metal, especially. I have, um, a pretty big music library. I think it's somewhere over 80 gigabytes of music on my computer (And, yes, I buy a lot of music. I have, from time to time, "borrowed" from the interwebz. But, many times I turn around I buy the music if I like it or delete it if I don't.)

With a large library of songs like this, over 10,000 songs, 900+ artists, and so on, I try to keep my iTunes organized. (I realize some people will criticize my use of iTunes and I don't care. I like the integration with my computer and iPod.) I make sure that individual artists are alphabetized by last name first, for example. I cannot figure out why both iTunes Store and Amazon sell music with the artist's first name first. For example, if you buy a Neil Diamond album (and you should buy several of the classic, early albums, or at least Hot August Night!) then it will get filed in the "N" section for Neil, which is rediculous. I worked at two different music stores (Kids, a music store was a place you went to buy tapes or CDs or even records. What are those? Forget it.) Neil Diamond should be alphabetized as "Diamond, Neil." Always. Kanye is under "West." Nikki is under "Minaj." Pink Floyd is under "Pink" though. 'Cause no one is named Pink in that band, 'kay?

I also keep them organized by genres and like to make sure track names are correct. Nothing drives me crazier than seeing "Track 1," "Track 2," etc. I want my tracks to have album art, as well. So, I have gone to some trouble to organize my library.

And, I have a genre called "Christmas." That's all that it is, too. Songs for the December holiday. I realize there are other holidays during this time, but I barely observe Christmas, much less Hanukkah or Kwanza. So, I have Christmas and Christmas-related music in that genre. And, once a year, on the day after Thanksgiving, usually, I make room on my iPod for that collection of songs and I only listen to them during the holidays up to January 1st. Then, they're off the iPod and "mothballed" until next year, just like the lights on my house.

It started about ten years ago. I don't recall when, exactly, but at some point, I decided to get one of those classic Christmas compilations. I might have downloaded them from some file share, I don't recall. I know a lot of them were low bitrate and sounded tinny. But, that kicked it off. I amassed a nice little collection over a short period of time. Then, something happened to my computer, like a hard drive crash, or something. Or maybe it was stolen. I'm not sure. But, I didn't have a backup. I had to pull a lot of songs off my iPod to recover them and it wasn't Christmas season, so they were gone. I started over.

This was a couple years ago. Amazon has been awesome, selling compilations for pennies a song. I also got a couple CDs from Costco that had nice selections. Two of my favorites have been the Bing Crosby "Voice of Christmas" and Frank Sinatra's "Holly Jolly Christmas" albums. Such good recordings! The nice thing has been that I have gotten much higher quality files by purchasing them. Go figure. Anyway, I now have just over 700 Christmas songs. So much fun!

Being a music nerd, I decided to make playlists for the Christmas music. There's one omnibus playlist that has all the Christmas songs in it. Then, I made one for just Jazz Christmas songs. There's one for Classical Christmas music (i.e. an orchestra playing the songs). I made one called Christmas Modern that is all songs from the 1980's on through today. But, my favorite by far is the Christmas Classics which is all songs from the 1940's through 1960's. That, to me, is the classic era for Christmas music. Bing, Frank, Dean Martin, Eartha Kitt, Mel Torme, Nat King Cole, Perry Como, Andy Williams, Burl Ives, all of those. That is the sound of Christmas as far as I'm concerned. I love the horns and bells in those songs, and sometimes the strings. I love the intersection of big band, jazz, rock, Hollywood musical, and crooners in these songs. There is, I think, an innocence in these songs, too. I don't necessarily think that the time period is as ideal as it is sometimes made out to be, but I can't escape the feeling that it was just a different, sweeter time to live. It is at once, classy and corny and all around wonderful.

Wanna know something weird? Okay, weirder? My favorite Christmas song, hands down, is "Carol of the Bells." I love that song. The melody is dark and yet magical at the same time. "Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away..." Ahhhhh. That's the stuff right there. I think I have about 8 versions of that song. I like the instrumentals, the acapellas, the electronic versions, all of them. Such a beautiful song, if you ask me.

So, that's my secret. I love Christmas music and I spend a little too much time thinking about it. But, only for about four weeks a year.

 

Here's a video from my ride.

The ride is done and I did it! Tour de Foothills Century completed!

I did it! I completed the entire Tour de Foothills Century 2012!

That's my Strava post to prove it. I'm sure you, dear reader, believed me instantly. But, just in case someone less trusting is viewing. Plus, I think it's pretty impressive to look at. One hundred and one miles. Seven thousand plus feet of climbing. Nearly 7 hours in the saddle. That's a lot of bike riding!

It was a good ride. It was cold. Very very cold. I doubt that it got above 65 degrees all day. In fact, coming down from Glendora Mountain Road into East Fork, I believe it was in the thirties. There was ice on the sides of the road in the shadows! I was entirely grateful to be wearing a good base layer shirt that I bought the night before, and a wind vest, as well.

I like to give props to companies and products that are doing it right. Craft makes the base layer shirt, a long sleeve crew neck "Zero" layer, I think. And Showers Pass makes the wind vest, an excellent product. It blocks the wind on my front torso so that I'm not dealing with freezing sweat after climbing up and then going down a big hill.

Unfortunately, my Oakley Jawbones (Racing Jackets?) did not keep my right eye/contact lens from clouding up. I put in rewetting eye drops several times to no avail. By the time I was in the last five miles it was brutal dealing with poor vision in my right eye. It's uncomfortable and makes it so much harder to ride. That, fortunately, was one of the only very bad things about the ride.

We began the ride early in Upland, a 7:00 a.m. start. Cold that makes your fingers ache. But, after a mile or so, I started to warm up and I found my friend, Mike. We rode through Claremont, then into Pomona and San Dimas. The first big climb was Via Verde, which, while steep, is short. A fast descent followed, then some flats into Covina and Glendora. We made our way up to Glendora Mountain Road. Mike went his own way to ride the Metric Century. But, I had a date with a mountain.

I had ridden this road many times, at least the way up. So, I knew what to expect. Most of it is about 5% - 6% grade, but there are sections that hit 8% and 9% with slightly steeper road in a couple parts. It's about 8 or 9 miles of climbing and the grade makes it hurt. At the top was a rest stop where I availed myself of some Fig Newtons, some banana, and refilled my water bottle with an electrolyte beverage. Next was a very cold, fast descent, hitting speeds of 30 miles an hour into East Fork. Then, out San Gabriel Canyon. The wind was blowing into the canyon and I was lucky to find a few guys going my speed to help block the wind and pull me a ways down the road.

We made our way into Glendora again to another rest stop. I found some other people I knew and followed their wheels into Claremont for the next big climb, Mt. Baldy Road. This is some of the steepest road in the area. At one point, my Garmin indicated 13% grade. Ouch. At nearly 80 miles, this is a cruelty that is almost uncalled for. I paused at the foot of the climb because my right calf muscle was threatening to cramp and that was not something I wanted to deal with. I ate some energy gel blocks (Stinger) and took some Enduralytes, just in case, along with several drinks of water. Then, I began my assault on the climb. I put the bike into my lowest "granny gear" and went to work. I passed one guy walking his bike and another vomiting over the guard rail. Nice. My muscles complained but never cramped and I made it up the hill okay. Another rest stop at the top was welcomed. I refilled my bottles again and headed down.

Another fast descent down Mountain Avenue and then Euclid Avenue to 19th. Here began my existential bike ride. For some reason, I had ended up alone. Either I had left behind anyone I knew, or I had been passed by them. In any case, I rode alone down 19th Street through Upland. Yes, there was a bike rider here and there, but no one that stayed with me, or vice versa. I headed down Victoria Loop and to Baseline. The wind blew against me, mostly at about 10 miles an hour, but with gusts that were more fierce. I was riding into the teeth of the West wind and it was not fun. Ninety miles on my legs, vision impaired by a cloudy contact lens, and now, irritable because I hate riding in the wind. It takes your spirit and stomps it. See, you're putting a lot of effort into the pedals. The wind hits you and you feel as if you should be going 20 mph but you're only going 10 mph. It makes you feel weak and puny. Wind is a highly underrated weather event.

Finally, with about a mile to go, I found some other riders and we made our way to the finish. Then, to my surprise, my wife and kids were waiting for me, my son handing me my "Finisher" medal. Very cool. I was exhausted. My back hurt, my knee hurt and I was bone tired in almost every muscle in my legs and arms. But, I was happy. I had done it.

As I think about it, I did it as much to lose weight and get in shape, plus enjoy bike riding, as I did it to do something impressive. I wanted to accomplish something. Maybe this is a kind of "mid-life" crisis where I feel like I need something to point to as an accomplishment. I don't know. I know it makes me happy because my kids are proud of me. My wife is proud of me, too. And, I'm glad because she helped a lot by supporting and encouraging me. Plus, she dropped me off and picked me up that day, too. I did lose weight, about 20 pounds. I have dropped a few percentage points of body fat, too. I learned that I can endure pain and discomfort. And, I made some friends. It's a pretty good deal, all in all. I'm glad I did it. And, I plan to continue riding. I'd like to do more centuries. Palm Springs has a nice ride, I hear, as does Solvang. One day, I'd like to complete the Death Valley century, too.

And, that's the end. I guess, if you need a take away, it's that setting goals can be very useful. I pushed myself to improve over time, and I persevered. I don't know if riding bikes is for everyone. But, you can do it, if you decide to. I don't think there's anything terribly unusual about me versus anyone else. But, if nothing else, choose something you want to accomplish and then lay out an achievable plan to get it done. Thanks for coming along with me. Hope you enjoyed it.

Two days until the ride

I had written this days ago but forgot to hit "post." Sorry about that. I will have an update soon.

I feel pretty good. My knee will probably hurt, but not bad enough to keep me from riding. My back, too, still isn't 100% and I don't know why. But, I know I will finish the ride, barring some kind of accident or something unknown. I feel ready, but I won't set any course records on Saturday. I am hoping, at least, for some personal records, I guess. That's what's so cool about Strava and the Garmin computer. I will get a personalized analysis of my ride in a way that I never did before. It used to be that I could only get an average speed, a max speed, and a distance. But, now I can have all kinds of data. I will see my exact route, speed at any given point on the route, heart rate, too, and so on.

It's pretty cool.

Anyway, I was thinking about how it's going to hurt. I know that at many points on Saturday, my chest will heave, my quads will burn, my calves will ache, my knees will throb, and likely some other muscles or tendons in legs will feel tight and sore. My butt is going to hurt, I may even get sores. I will probably be too cold and too hot over the course of several hours, or even minutes. I will, at some point, look at my mileage and despair because I have so many miles left. I may be too hungry, lightheaded, nauseous, or just tired. My hands will likely go numb or tingle at times. My shoulders will hurt, my neck will ache, and my eyes will be dry.

All of that will probably happen and that's the best case scenario. Worse case would be that I crash and and actually get injured. Or I get cramps. Or sick.

So much discomfort and even pain. Why do it? I often think about that. Sometimes I even try to figure it out during those times when it hurts so much. It is for the moments, I guess. There are moments when the surrounding are beautiful. I recall coming down Glendora Ridge Road and the sunlight sparkled through the maples and oaks on the mountainside. They were in the midst of changing colors (not the oaks, of course) and it was really cool. Sometimes it's a moment where I feel good. My legs feel powerful, my body isn't hurting unusually, and I am moving at a good pace. My pedaling is smooth, the bike tracks along the road and I feel the power transferring efficiently from my legs to the pedal, the chain, the cogs, the tires, and into the road. That's a good moment, too.

I ride also because I can. I enjoy feeling like I did something that others can't. It might be going up a steep climb, for example. Most people complain when the grade hits 2%. I like being able to climb four miles of 6-8% grade. I like getting to the top and knowing that I didn't let the hill beat me. It also could be distances. Most people can't even comprehend riding a bike for 100 miles, or even 50. It's hard to do. It's hard to be on the bike for hours at a time. So, there's that.

I ride because it's the most fun version of exercise I have found. I get injured running. Walking is too slow. I don't want to use machines or lift weights. That seems pointless. Bike riding takes you places. You get to see things. I like the way the world looks from two wheels, and it does look different. Smells different too, good and bad. I love the smell of damp fields in the morning just beginning to warm in the sun. On the other hand, there's the smell of a hot sewer or port-a-potty that has been cooking in the blazing Southern Californian sun. That's every bit as bad as it sounds. Sucking in a lungful of car exhaust is no fun, either. But, a field of wild flowers is heavy with fragrance, or jasmine blooming in the later afternoon. Divine.

To some degree, cycling is about living with the pain, and sometimes enjoying it. Usually, it's that the ride is better than the pain is bad. But, it can also be that the pain means you're doing something worthwhile.

I'm looking forward to Saturday's ride. It will be difficult. But, I have a feeling that I will get a little of everything from it. There will be pain, and beauty, loneliness (when I get dropped) and camaraderie. There will be ups and downs, good and bad.

 

One week until the Tour de Foothills century

Months ago, I made a commitment to get into shape to ride the Tour de Foothills century which is next week, November 10, 2012. At the time, in June, I weighed about 198 pounds, which is almost 40 pounds more than I should weigh. I wasn't completely out of shape, just very overweight. Back in 2005/2006, I was an mountain biker and road cyclist. But, a divorce and several moves put that on hold. Enough was enough. I had tried to maintain but it wasn't working. I had to change.

Step one was signing up for the ride. It cost me $70. I figured that if I spent the money, I would be more likely to follow through with the training. Step two was getting back on the bike. I was teaching summer school so I started riding my bike to work. That had been effective before. Even though I was only riding a little over 7 miles each way, I always pushed myself and tried to do "intervals" on the commutes. I also started going for longer rides on the weekends. When I got to where I could ride for at least 20 miles, I joined the Cycling Connection, a Ranch Cucamonga cycling club. Every Saturday, the club rides out to Claremont, up some hills and back, a ride of about 35 miles. I added ten to that by riding from home.

Finally, I added in much longer rides of 60 to 80 miles or so when I could. I even did the Amtrak Century in September, although we only rode about 95 miles that day. And, that century is probably one of the easiest around.

But, the Tour de Foothills is not. It is 100 miles with 8,000 feet of climbing. Even with all of my training, I am full of respect for this ride. I don't fear it like I did, but I respect it.

Am I ready? Yes, I think I am. Today, I rode 66 miles with 5,500 feet of climbing. That took about 5 hours. Most of what we rode today will be in the TdF next week, as we rode the infamous Glendora Mountain Road and Glendora Ridge Road to Mount Baldy village.

My knee hurt but it was manageable. My asthma wasn't too bad. Have I mentioned I have Exercise-Induced Asthma? It wasn't bad today.

Here's a few things I found made the ride better. Sidi Carbon Genius shoes. So good. I have tried for years to save money on cycling shoes by buying cheaper. I used the same pair of Specialized mountain bike shoes for years. Last year I bought a new pair of Shimano mountain bike shoes. But, they often made my left foot numb and felt lose. I gave in and bought the Sidis and a new pair of pedals. What a difference! They are much tighter but more comfortable, if you can believe it. I also love my Oakley Racing Jackets (aka Jawbones). They have helped considerably with my eyes getting dry. It still happens, but it's a lot better. I just got a very nice wind vest by Showers Pass. It's called the ProTech. It seems counterintuitive to me, but it makes a huge difference when it is chilly out. A couple weeks ago I did a similar ride and I was miserably cold most of the time. Any time I went downhill, it hurt because the cold air blew against my torso and made me ache with cold. Today, I wore knee warmers and the vest. Much better.

I also want to recommend DZ Nuts, a chamois cream. If you don't know, long rides often lead to saddle sores. This product has helped with that quite a bit. I haven't really had any serious sores but there was some discomfort. I can deal with sore knees and aching muscles. I can even deal with my butt hurting. But, sores are not something I want to mess with. This has seemed to clear that up completely. My friend Mike says it burns him but I felt nothing like that.

If you are any kind of enthusiastic about your cycling, I recommend getting a GPS computer. Expensive? Yeah. But, being able to precisely record my rides, analyze my performance, see any improvements, etc., has been so much fun. I know that I had an average heart rate of 134, I can see exactly where I rode, how much elevation, average speed (12 mph), top speed (41.4 mph), and I can use a service like Strava to see how I did on the various segments on my ride. Segments are portions of the route that are demarcated and then leaderboards are kept for them. This can give you a sense of how you are doing because you can look to see if you are getting faster on sections. It can be fun, too, to see how you rank against others. Or, depressing if you are far down in the rankings, as I am in some of them.

So, am I ready? Like I said, I believe I am. I have lost about 20 pounds. I can easily ride 50-60 miles and I can definitely ride up to 100 miles. The climbing will be tough, but I think I can get that done, too. I believe I have the right equipment to help me, too. (I don't want to give the impression that you have to spend all that money to do this, though, because I don't think you do. But, on the other hand, I can tell you that in my experience, the money is well spent.) Basically, it's like any other kind of tool. Sure, you could use a cheaper hammer or screwdriver, say, but better tools make the job easier.

The training has been key. I rode every week, at least four times a week. Consistency is important. I added in longer rides when possible. I did long rides on the weekends but, about a month ago, I started riding my bike up into Lytle Creek a couple times a week after work. That gave me some more climbing training. For long rides like this, you have to have the muscle to do the climbing and the endurance to make it over the long miles. For me, part of the challenge was losing the weight. Shedding pounds has definitely made me faster and stronger.

Next week, I hope to have some positive news that I did it, I rode the Tour de Foothills century successfully. I think it's going to be hard, for sure, but, I think I will get it done.

How to start getting fit

I'm not an expert. But, I think my experience is valid and useful. When I started cycling at first, back in 2005, I was way out of shape. I was 35 pounds overweight. I rode my bike uphill, about 3 miles, up a sleight grade, nothing crazy. But, I was slow, going 3.5 miles per hour. I thought I would die. But, it was a start.

Look, exercise is hard and it often hurts. But, if I am eating too much, I have to exercise. I have to burn calories. If I am overweight, I have to burn more than I take in. You can lower your caloric intake and eat less and lose weight without exercise, but that's way harder.

Exercise is actually a natural appetite suppressant, at least for most of the time you are working out. Of course, working out make you hungry, too. But, if you work out hard, you can eat more. That is a great thing about taking a long bike ride. After three or four hours of riding, I have burned over 1,000 calories. It gives me a lot more room in my diet for the day.

Another thing that helps is that I enjoy cycling. So, I look forward to the exercise and that makes it easier to continue doing it.

So, my first suggestion is to pick a form of exercise that you like doing. The second suggestion is that you commit to a reasonable goal. At first, I committed to riding my bike 3 times a week, minimum, for 30 minutes each time. Eventually, I increased that to 4 to 5 times a week and 45 minutes to an hour each time. If I missed my goal, I just started over. I didn't give up just because I missed the goal. That was key, I think.

Another thing that helped was that I met some people that cycled too. Initially, it was mountain biking, but I also met road bikers, too. And, they were faster and had more endurance so I wanted to train harder to be able to keep up with them. I did the same thing this year and signed up for the Tour de Foothills century so I would have a goal to shoot for. But, mostly, the people become a kind of support group.

For example, they told me about doing interval training as a way to get fit with shorter workouts. Or, when I started getting cramps during longer workouts, my friend Mike told me about eating Tums or drinking pickle juice to relieve them. (Mostly, today, I try to drink fluids with electrolytes while riding, or eating stuff like energy gels or Clif bars.) Mike has been an invaluable resource, actually. I have learned a lot about cycling in general from him. From bike fit, to good equipment, to good rides, he has a lot of information to share. It's good to find someone who can help you out like that.

Interestingly, it also has occurred to me that my circle of friends in cycling has given me a big boost in the sense that I have raised my expectations. I ride with people who regularly ride 50 to 100 miles without blinking an eye. They go up and down mountains. This is way different than hitting a bike path a couple times a week or riding around the block a few times. I ride 25 miles and then see that they rode 50 and I feel like I need to ride more. So, I think that is a good thing to have higher expectations.

And, then, there is Strava. I have way too much fun with that. I can see my ride on a map, see the numbers, and all of that. Strava is fun. And, segments give you a way to track your progress. If you ride or run, you should use Strava.

Summing it up, pick an activity you enjoy, set reasonable goals, and find some people to support your activity and/or participate with you so you will stick to your goals and raise the bar for yourself as you improve.

The training for the century ride

I feel nervous now. There are only 36 days until the Higlander Century. The route has been published and it shows 102 miles with 8,400 feet of climbing. The mileage doesn't scare me as much as the climbing. That's a lot of hill! I think I can do that, but I just don't know for sure. I don't want to be too slow. And, lately, I have been getting cramps in my calves when I push myself. I just don't know if I'm getting enough training.

So, now I am riding my bike everyday, or nearly so, to work and back. That's only 7.3 miles, though. Going home is uphill, so I try hard to keep my speed up and ride in intervals, alternating between going at 90% effort and 60% effort, for example. I think this is good, but it isn't enough. I have tried to add in some extra miles here and there. So, now, on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I'm trying to ride an extra 20 miles with lots of hill work. I am riding up Cherry and into Lytle Creek. That's a steady grade of about 2-3% with occassional 4-6% grades.

Another thing that, I hope, helps, is that I'm riding a heavier bike. It weighs ten pounds more than my racing bike, the one I will ride the Highlander Century on. In addition, I am carrying panniers on my back rack, which I would guess adds another 10 pounds. But, how much difference this will make, I'm not sure.

This Sunday I hope to put 80 miles on the bike.

More progress to note: I have lost at least 15 pounds and have dropped two inches around my waist, I think. I am hopeful that I will weigh about 170 by the time I ride the century. That should make things a little easier, too. My ideal weight is probably about 165, but I will settle for 170.

My knee still gets sore. It's not so much painful as it is uncomfortable. I am trying to make sure my cleats and seat are adjusted properly so I can hurt less. It seems to be okay. I may pay for a bike fitting to see if that fixes it.

Update...

Today is Sunday, now. I rode 84 miles with 3500 feet of climbing. Not bad. I didn't feel that tired at the end of it. After doing some reading, I think I am on track. Next weekend I will ride part of Glendora Mountain Road which will give me some very good climbing practice. As well, I am going to continue going up Lytle Creek a couple times a week.